I’ve discovered something interesting about going to confession. It seems to be the one thing that the more experience you get doing it, the harder it can be to do. Remember when you made your First Confession, most likely before your First Communion? The sins we had to confess back then probably seem trivial now. The older you get, the more serious the sins can be and the harder they are to confess.
In my short story Lent Royal & Ancient in the CTB book Ashes: Visible & Invisible, our heroine Bronwyn, who has traveled back in time some 300 years to ancient Scotland, feels compelled to attend Confession, something she hadn’t done since her own First Communion.
What weighed heavily on her mind that day was her anger and unforgiveness towards her mother, who had abandoned her shortly after she was born. She asked Fr. Ferguson how to forgive someone who doesn’t want to be forgiven. He told her that sometimes it’s as hard to ask for forgiveness as it is to forgive someone.
“She doesn’t deserve to be forgiven,” Bronwyn stated.
The priest wisely responded, “None of us do. Yet Jesus died on the cross in atonement for all of our sins.”
Those words went straight into Bronwyn’s heart.
The words the priest added next caused her to rethink her lack of charity towards her mother. “What if your mam felt her actions were in your best interest?”
What started out as a dreaded confrontation (going to confession after 10 years away) turned out to be a meaningful conversation between Bronwyn and Fr. Ferguson, and, most importantly, the forgiveness of every sin that she’d felt remorse for in her old life, and in her new life in Scotland.
If it’s been a while since you’ve been to confession, you may be surprised at how good it feels to get back in the swing of going regularly. Bronwyn discovered that it wasn’t nearly as hard as she thought it’d be and when Fr. Feguson told her, “God has freed ye from your sins. Go in peace.” Bronwyn felt the weight of the world lift from her shoulders. Maybe you’ll have a similar experience as well.
You can read the full-length novel about Bronwyn’s adventures in 1600s Scotland in Amanda’s book Royal & Ancient.
About the author: An avid reader and history buff since childhood, Amanda Lauer is the author of the award-winning YA Heaven Intended Civil War series, and the time-travel novels, Anything but Groovy and Royal & Ancient. Amanda and her husband John have been married more than forty years, have four married adult children, and eight precious grandchildren.
Photo by cottonbro studio at Pexels
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